A Trip to the Orphanage

Wednesday was one of the more emotional days I have had in my life. The four of us whose babies were from the Lianjiang orphanage we able to take a trip to visit the orphanage where N lived. Because of the distance, and the possible set back that the babies might experience by going back to the orphanage, only one person from each couple took the trip. Lianjiang is 6 hrs away from where we are staying in Guangzhou, so it was quite a long day. We left the hotel at 7am, and didn't get back until 9:45 that night. It was an eye opening experience for all of us, and explains a lot of why our children act and do the things that they do.

When we arrived in Lianjiang, the orphanage director first took us out for lunch at a local restaurant. The food was superb, and typical for that region of China. The director and others at the orphanage were extremely hospitable to us. They were very grateful for having us visit, and welcomed us back at any time in the future.

After lunch we drove over to the orphanage and were able to meet with some of the people who worked there, and ask them questions about the orphanage. The other three family's babies were found immediately outside the gates of the orphanage. It is common for mothers to leave their children here, knowing they will be quickly found. N was actually found at a different spot, about 20 minutes away from the orphanage in a different part of town.

Overall the orphanage was very stark, but in good condition. The building is only about 8 years old (I believe it was built in 1999/2000). It is 5 stories high, and there were 70 children there, ranging in age from a day old infant to teens. It looked like most of the children were under 4-5 years of age. We were able to tour the rooms where the babies were kept, but told we were not to take any photos of the children. They did let us take photos of other areas of the orphanage.

The rooms where the children lived were large, plain white rooms with white tile floors. There were about 25-30 children in each room with about 2-3 caregivers (called Aunties). Each child stayed in their crib all day, with the exception of a play period of 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon, where they were all put out on the veranda/balcony area where it was sunny. There were no toys anywhere to be seen, and with the exception of the bright red tub where the dirty diapers were cleaned, a general absence of color in the room.

The cribs were all aligned and tied together, forming rows two wide. They were stainless steel, and only had a plywood bottom that the babies were playing on. At night, they placed a thin blanket down on top of the plywood where the babies laid, and then a very thick quilt, about 6 inches thick, was placed on top of the baby for warmth. There was no heat in the building, although the temps here are generally warm in this region, in the winter it can get down into the 40's at night. The children are bundled in many thick layers of clothing to keep them warm in the winter, sometimes they are barely able to move their arms and legs. They are taken care of ok by the orphanage as far as food and shelter is concerned, but there is generally a lack of stimulation given to each child, and it shows.

Most of the children looked terrified to see us, and they would recoil if I would put my hand out to touch them. Some of that was just our different looks, I'm sure, and the fact that they weren't used to us. We saw a couple of babies that were only days old, and it was wrenching to see them lying there crying with no one to pick them up. It was heartbreaking to see so many of these children there, knowing how many families in the US and abroad were so anxious to adopt them. Why does the process have to take so long?

The "normal" healthy children were kept in one area of the orphanage, and the special needs children (with either medical or emotional problems) were segregated in a different area of the orphanage. Another person in our group had been corresponding with a family who was trying to adopt a boy with a medical condition for the past few years. They hadn't heard anything about the child in over a year, so thankfully the director took us to see the child. I'm sure the family will be so grateful to hear their child is doing well.

After the orphanage tour, the director agreed to take us to the spot where N was found. The 20 minute trip to the spot was like going from the 1st world to the 3rd world. The area was so poor and so dirty it was amazing. I have been to other poor areas of the world, but this was down another level. It struck home to me as we drove past a large pile of trash and there was a small child digging through it, looking for who knows what. This could have been N in another few years.

I was able to get out of the van and take some pictures of the spot where she was found, wrapped only in a small blanket with a couple of extra diapers left with her. She was brought to the police station, and from there transferred to the Lianjiang Social Welfare Institute orphanage. This was the last act of selfless kindness from likely her mother, who knew she couldn't take care of her, and that her chances of a better life lay in someone else's hands. I only wish she could know how much we'll love her and care for her for the rest of our lives.