Cliches

You've probably wondered why I haven't posted any new pictures of Natalia recently.

I threw the bath water out the other night.
And...well...you probably know the rest of the story.

Home sweet home

We didn't realize how comfortable our own bed was. We just wish we were able to spend more time there at night.

Our trip back was long, long, long! But N. did surprisingly well on the flights and in the airports. After getting up at 4:30am on Wed for our trip to the airport in Guangzhou, we had a slight (slight?) problem at the airport. When I booked N.'s ticket for the return flight, I was under the assumption that she would have a legal name change in China. So I used N...make sense, right? Well, since her Chinese passport still used her Chinese name, they didn't want to check her in. Well another blessing came in the form of another groups translator, who helped us at the JAL support desk. I had decided to pack all our paperwork in our carry-on luggage, which was providential since I was able to find her adoption certificate, which also had her American name on it. That convinced the airline to let her fly with us. After much confusion, they rushed us through security and we made it on the flight with about 10 minutes to spare. N. slept most of the way on the first flight, which was nice since we were stuck in the middle two seats of the center row.

We had a 6hr layover in Tokyo, so we found a quiet spot in one of the corridors and setup shop there. We took out all her toys, and we were able to play, eat and keep her awake for the whole time.

Another problem developed in Tokyo when we tried to check-in. We had the same name-problem with N., which again took them about 45 minutes to rectify. By this time we were REALLY happy with our adoption agency here in the states! It was so nice of them to warn us of this potential problem!!! But the second problem was a little more serious, it seems that when they made all the changes in Guangzhou that morning, they "separated" my reservations, and for some reason they had me listed as not showing up for the flight so my reservation was canceled. After assuring the agent that I was, in fact, standing in front of her, so I must have made it onto the flight, the best she could do was put me on "stand-by" for the flight. The language barrier sure didn't help, but I assured her that I HAD to get on this flight, it wasn't an option. After 1.5 hrs at the counter, I decided to just pray that it would work out and I stopped worrying about it. We waited until the flight was closed (40 mins prior to departure) and when I showed up at the counter there was a boarding pass waiting for me there.

On the second leg, from Tokyo to JFK, N. became that screaming baby that everyone on the flight turns around to look at with evil eyes that said "can't you get control of your baby?". I've decided there is nothing in this world more stressful and nerve-racking than a screaming baby in your arms that you cannot console or quiet. Luckily, we don't have to experience it too often. The screaming only lasted for about 30 minutes (only?), and she finally fell asleep. Later in the flight she turned into the happy baby, smiling and making faces at everyone around her. I told her I don't think it was making up for the earlier screaming session, but she was oblivious to my advice.

Our arrival into JFK was delayed in the air for about 45 minutes because of the major snow/ice storm that had happened during the day. But we finally landed and got to the gate only about 50 minutes late. Considering all the other problems we heard about at JFK, this was a blessing.

Since N. was entering the US under a permanent resident visa, we even were able to skip the long "returning resident" line at customs. They processed her paperwork without issue, and we met my parents out in the airport waiting area. They were understandably so glad to see her, and she even had a few smiles left to give after her 24hr trip.

It was such a relief to be home with her, after this 27 month ordeal. She is very jet-lagged, and wants to get up to play at 1 or 2 in the morning still, but she is getting better. Last night we both got about 6hrs of sleep, which was such a bonus. She even slept to 6:20 this morning. We are enjoying her more everyday, (the sleep is helping). And my parents have been a great help with food and babysitting, allowing C. to get some needed sleep during the day. I struggled through 2 days of work on Thursday and Friday, but this weekend has been great being home relaxing, as much as you can relax with an 11 month old around. It is good to be a Dad.

Visa Approval

Today was another exciting day in a string of exciting days. N. was officially approved to enter the United States. She received her Chinese passport last week, and today she was granted a visa to enter the U.S. As soon as she is processed through customs in the U.S. she will become a U.S. citizen.

The visa application ceremony is somewhat emotional because it is the last step the adoptive families have to take (and last item to pay for, incidentally) in the whole belabored process. Our appointment was for 4pm this afternoon at the U.S. Consulate office in Guangzhou. There were probably about 75 families present in a large room. One of the counselors explained the process to everyone, and administered the swearing-in. Since we were applying on behalf of the children, who are minors, we had to swear to the accuracy of our filings by raising our right hands and repeating the oath. C. had been somewhat anxious during the last two weeks, afraid that something would go wrong with the paperwork. So she was so relieved when it was finally done.

While we were walking in to the consulate appointment, I explained to N. that this was her last chance to ditch us before everything was finalized, but she wouldn't hear about it. She was determined to go through with it, as were we. We are now stuck with each other for the rest of our lives. After two weeks with her, we can't imagine it any other way. She has already become such an important part of our lives.

The rest of our group continued on to the airport for their flight up to Beijing tonight. It was sad to see them go, since we've grown so close over the last two weeks. Everyone in the group got along very well, and we really enjoyed all their company. Hopefully we'll be able to keep in touch. After going through such an emotional process with them, let alone eating meals together and taking trips on the bus together for two weeks, the bonds grew strong.

We celebrated tonight with a pizza dinner in the hotel, complete with some great Chinese tea. She was in an excellent mood all afternoon, and was all smiles and giggles. We figure it was due to her afternoon nap, bottle, and poop (and not necessarily in that order). These three things magically make her such a happy person.

Tomorrow morning we have a 4:30am wake-up call, and are catching a ride to the airport with another group flying out at the same time as us. We have an 8am flight to Tokyo, where we have a 6hr layover. Then another 12.5hr flight into JFK. I am VERY ready to be home now, although our time here has been wonderful. I hear we are going to leave the 70+ degree weather here and fly into a snowstorm on Wed night! I hope we're able to land in New York on-time!

Titi

I have a feeling N. is going to be spoiled by her Aunts, and it is going to start this weekend. C's sister, who is living and working in Tokyo, Japan now, decided to fly down for a couple of days just to see N. It was a nice surprise, and I'm sure they are going to enjoy each other. With a live-in baby sitter for a couple of days, maybe C & I will get to eat a meal together again. It has been a tag-team effort for the last two weeks!

Sheila flew into Guangzhou tonight (Saturday), and will be flying back to Tokyo on Tuesday. It will be a fun visit, and we'll enjoy the extra help for a few days.

First Words

Natalia has gone from baby talk to saying somewhat intelligible words. C thinks she just said "Da-da", but I'm almost positive she just said "Chairman Mao".

I think I'm going to stop reading her bedtime stories from the Little Red Book.

A Trip to the Orphanage

Wednesday was one of the more emotional days I have had in my life. The four of us whose babies were from the Lianjiang orphanage we able to take a trip to visit the orphanage where N lived. Because of the distance, and the possible set back that the babies might experience by going back to the orphanage, only one person from each couple took the trip. Lianjiang is 6 hrs away from where we are staying in Guangzhou, so it was quite a long day. We left the hotel at 7am, and didn't get back until 9:45 that night. It was an eye opening experience for all of us, and explains a lot of why our children act and do the things that they do.

When we arrived in Lianjiang, the orphanage director first took us out for lunch at a local restaurant. The food was superb, and typical for that region of China. The director and others at the orphanage were extremely hospitable to us. They were very grateful for having us visit, and welcomed us back at any time in the future.

After lunch we drove over to the orphanage and were able to meet with some of the people who worked there, and ask them questions about the orphanage. The other three family's babies were found immediately outside the gates of the orphanage. It is common for mothers to leave their children here, knowing they will be quickly found. N was actually found at a different spot, about 20 minutes away from the orphanage in a different part of town.

Overall the orphanage was very stark, but in good condition. The building is only about 8 years old (I believe it was built in 1999/2000). It is 5 stories high, and there were 70 children there, ranging in age from a day old infant to teens. It looked like most of the children were under 4-5 years of age. We were able to tour the rooms where the babies were kept, but told we were not to take any photos of the children. They did let us take photos of other areas of the orphanage.

The rooms where the children lived were large, plain white rooms with white tile floors. There were about 25-30 children in each room with about 2-3 caregivers (called Aunties). Each child stayed in their crib all day, with the exception of a play period of 1 hour in the morning and 1 hour in the afternoon, where they were all put out on the veranda/balcony area where it was sunny. There were no toys anywhere to be seen, and with the exception of the bright red tub where the dirty diapers were cleaned, a general absence of color in the room.

The cribs were all aligned and tied together, forming rows two wide. They were stainless steel, and only had a plywood bottom that the babies were playing on. At night, they placed a thin blanket down on top of the plywood where the babies laid, and then a very thick quilt, about 6 inches thick, was placed on top of the baby for warmth. There was no heat in the building, although the temps here are generally warm in this region, in the winter it can get down into the 40's at night. The children are bundled in many thick layers of clothing to keep them warm in the winter, sometimes they are barely able to move their arms and legs. They are taken care of ok by the orphanage as far as food and shelter is concerned, but there is generally a lack of stimulation given to each child, and it shows.

Most of the children looked terrified to see us, and they would recoil if I would put my hand out to touch them. Some of that was just our different looks, I'm sure, and the fact that they weren't used to us. We saw a couple of babies that were only days old, and it was wrenching to see them lying there crying with no one to pick them up. It was heartbreaking to see so many of these children there, knowing how many families in the US and abroad were so anxious to adopt them. Why does the process have to take so long?

The "normal" healthy children were kept in one area of the orphanage, and the special needs children (with either medical or emotional problems) were segregated in a different area of the orphanage. Another person in our group had been corresponding with a family who was trying to adopt a boy with a medical condition for the past few years. They hadn't heard anything about the child in over a year, so thankfully the director took us to see the child. I'm sure the family will be so grateful to hear their child is doing well.

After the orphanage tour, the director agreed to take us to the spot where N was found. The 20 minute trip to the spot was like going from the 1st world to the 3rd world. The area was so poor and so dirty it was amazing. I have been to other poor areas of the world, but this was down another level. It struck home to me as we drove past a large pile of trash and there was a small child digging through it, looking for who knows what. This could have been N in another few years.

I was able to get out of the van and take some pictures of the spot where she was found, wrapped only in a small blanket with a couple of extra diapers left with her. She was brought to the police station, and from there transferred to the Lianjiang Social Welfare Institute orphanage. This was the last act of selfless kindness from likely her mother, who knew she couldn't take care of her, and that her chances of a better life lay in someone else's hands. I only wish she could know how much we'll love her and care for her for the rest of our lives.

She's an Entertainer

It has been really interesting and amazing how N's personality has grown and changed over the past 11 days with her. When we first got her on last Tuesday, she was very serious and apprehensive about everything, quite understandably. Everything was new to her. She didn't really smile at all the first day, and definitely didn't laugh or "talk". She wouldn't eat solid foods and was crawling just a little but still having problems.

Now she has become our little comedienne and entertainer. She is one of the happiest baby in our group and has a great personality (and that's not just her father's opinion). She loves to laugh, loves to be tickled, and has this cheesy smile and grin she readily gives to people. So of course all the local people love to talk to her when she smiles at them, and she just eats this up.

Yesterday we took a short trip to one of the local orchards on the bus with the group. On the way back she was in a particularly good mood and I was tickling and playing with her. She would arch her back so I would tickle her stomach, and she would let out this loud squeal/scream of laughter that we hadn't heard before from her. She kept doing it over and over, and eventually the whole bus was laughing at her and watching her. She became quite the hit, and one of the parents who wasn't on the trip even came up to me that night and said "I heard N was entertaining everyone on the bus today".

If it weren't for the tortured screams she gives us when we change her diaper or put her clothes on, she would be a consistently happy child! She is a great blessing.

An Official Chinese Citizen

N is now an official Chinese citizen. Actually, she was one before but she now has her very own Chinese passport to prove it! I learned yesterday that the reason we are in China longer than other groups that adopt from other provinces, is that the Guangdong provice just recently enacted a law that requires a 5 day waiting period from the time her passport was applied for. Other provinces start counting this time from the time the parents get the child. This adds 5 extra days to our trip, and the conspiracy theorists among us think they do that on purpose so we have to spend more money in Guangzhou! Maybe there is a little truth to that.

Now that she has a passport, we were able to get her medical appointment done today. It is pretty much just a quick routine appointment, there are no detailed checks of any kind: primarily just verifying her sex (?), weight, height, length, hearing, and chest sounds. She weighed in at just over 10kg (22lbs), so we figured out why our arms and backs are sore!

On Monday we have an appointment at the US Consulate where we apply for her visa. She will be entering the US under a Chinese passport with a visa, but she will become a US citizen immediately upon entering the country. Then on Tuesday, we will get her visa and have her swearing-in ceremony. We will be done filling-out paperwork and paying fees, finally!

Time to catch-up

I have been getting "chastised" for not keeping my postings going...sorry! I had better not go into blogging as a career, but we have been very busy. I have had a lot of work commitments pop-up while I'm gone, so when I get a free computer minute I've been doing that instead.

It has been a busy week of appointments and trips. Last Sabbath we went with the group to a local Buddist Temple, which was very interesting. Buddism and Taoism and their different forms are dominant religions in China. It seems to be practiced more by the older generations, according to our guide. The gardens outside the temple were very nice and peaceful, which is a big philosophy of this religion. Inside the temple were three HUGE statues of budda, probably about 30+ feet tall each, covered in gold.

After our short visit to the temple, we left the group and took a taxi over to the Guangzhou Seventh-day Adventist Church. Our friend Freely was able to email us the address, and our guide explained it to the taxi driver. We found it without too much trouble, and enjoyed the service...at least the general feeling of the service since it was all in Cantonese. The people were absolutely great, and we managed to draw a whole crowd around us after the program. I guess we stood out a little. All the ladies wanted to play with N, and she was in great form, performing for all of them with smiles, and laughs, and of course her tongue was constantly sticking out which she does when she gets happy. She really seems to enjoy making people laugh, and of course people respond back when she does.

The pastor, Elder Zhang, spoke English so we were able to speak with him after the program. We explained to him that if possible, we would like to have N dedicated at the church while we are still in China. Although we'll also have a dedication when we return, it will be special to have one before we leave the country. He said it wouldn't be a problem, so we'll try to do it tomorrow (assuming we can find and get to the church again tomorrow...on time). He was also kind enough to share his lunch with us, and we had a mini-potluck after the program. There was also a gentlemen from Canada who was attending. His company was installing some equipment in the area, so he was working in China for a couple of months. One of the girls from the church helped us get a taxi after lunch and explained to the driver the name of our hotel, and we made it back without incident. It was a nice visit, and we're planning on going back to church tomorrow.

A Day at the Zoo

Sometimes our lives in the hotel room getting ready to leave in the morning feel like a zoo, but we went to the real Guangzhou zoo today with the group. (There are 10 families traveling together from our agency, and we are bussed around everywhere).

I just got a chance to get to all my emails this afternoon. besides all the parenting stuff, we've been very busy all week going to appointments and meetings. today was our first "fun day", a trip to the Guangzhou zoo. It was a beautiful day, and we got to walk around for a couple of hours in the sun looking at the animals. The Panda is the big attraction there.

she is doing great, better every day. we skipped the shopping outing everyone went on this afternoon and have just stayed in the room relaxing. she loves to just play with things while sitting on the floor. she's a little entertainer now, and likes to smile and make faces and make us laugh at her. we took her to the clinic in the hotel and she does have a slight upper resp. infection, so we have to give her anti-biotics and some cough/phlegm medicine. she HATES it and screams the whole time. we feel so bad! i am dreading 9 more days of giving her the medicine! i guess this is the "tough love" part of parenting.

tomorrow the whole group is going to a buddist temple where the Chinese monks traditionally like to bless the adopted children before they leave the country. the blessing is suppose to travel with them for the rest of their lives outside of China. they feel since they were born in China, in a buddist country, they should be blessed as such. of course it's optional, and some Christian couples have actually not wanted to go through the (Buddist) blessings. we think it will be interesting, and will probably go. the temple is very beautiful too. i don't think the blessing will make her become a buddist... =)

we also have the address for the local SDA church in Guangzhou, which Freely was great enough to email to us. we'd really like to attend at least a part of the service, which i think will be very interesting. we're going to see where it is and if we can get there on our own.

other than that, things are going well. she had her first experience with Cherios today and LOVED them! i even posted some video of it which was funny. everything is a new experience for her, and she loves to explore and touch everything. she is so interesting.

More progress...

She is changing on a daily basis, and it is very cool to watch. Today when she woke up she played with us on the floor for quite awhile. She laughs, smiles, throws her head back and laughs, and likes to copy us a lot.

After our tag-team breakfast, we were scheduled to have lunch and meet with the police department. This is a local requirement, and also allows them to take the passport picture. Of course N was comfortably asleep by them, so when the guard asked us to open her eyes she threw a fit. Her passport picture should be interesting with an open mouth and teary eyes! We all passed the test.

The afternoon we took our first stroller ride, and it is amazing how many people, ladies mainly, stop and say how cute she is. She has become a little performer, and if I laugh at something she does she does it again to get the same reaction.

We also decided to visit the health clinic they have setup in the hotel for the parents. They listened to her breath, looked in her ears, and checked her temp. They think she has an upper respiratory infection (as do almost all the other kids from this orphanage). So we'll start taking the anti-biotic we brought with us. The doctor and nurse made a big deal over her, but she still hated the appointment!

Tomorrow we are going to visit the GZ zoo in the morning, and then we'll be free to relax all afternoon! I'm exhausted, so more tomorrow. Thank you to everyong for their thoughts and prayers.

She is officially ours!

We are realizing it is a lot of work being parents, not that we expected anything different I suppose. After our meetings yesterday and today, the adoption is now finalized and N is finally ours. Yesterday, we had more appointments at the Civil Affairs office (the same office where we picked up the babies on Tuesday). First we met with the registrar, and promised that we wouldn't abuse, neglect or abandon N, and paid our fee of course. Then we met with the registrar who I guess registrared something or other in Chinese. Then it was official.

The change in N when she woke up on Wed was pretty amazing. She sat on the bed and played with us - smiling and laughing quite a bid. Considering she wasn't even smiling on Tues, this was significant. Her eye contact with us increased quite a bit, too. She was more comfortable looking at us for longer periods, especially when she was taking her bottle.

Speaking of bottles, she is sure a good little eater, which is obvious by looking at her. Before we got her "direction" papers, which told us what her normal routine was, we were told that all of the babies were used to eating solid table food already. We were somewhat concerned, because she didn't seem to know how to eat solids, and she would spit most of it out. Later we learned that she wasn't used to eating solids and was fed primarily a bottle, which made us feel better. We also learned we weren't feeding her enough.

Dinner after our Civil Affairs outing was a challenge. She is definitely a squirmer, and if she is tired, hungry, or wet, she sure lets us know! We in to the tag-team eating period now. I don't know how single parents are able to do it!

When we finally got back to the hotel it was obvious she was pretty tired. Her clothing and diaper changes are very traumatic for her, and she is very emotional about the whole process. But after calming her down, we were able to put her in the crib and after a bunch of tossing and turning she fell asleep until about 5:30 this morning when I got up and gave her a bottle. Luckily for us she is a great sleeper!